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Dec. 10th, 2010 @ 10:41 am Inspired by abmann ...a week ago
Poll #1655378 Royal Rainbow!

Hmm? What is this?

1(50.0%)
A katamari
0(0.0%)
A wild slime appears!
1(50.0%)

This katamari is

1(50.0%)
tiny
1(50.0%)
small
0(0.0%)
medium
0(0.0%)
large
0(0.0%)
humongous
0(0.0%)

It feels mostly

1(50.0%)
people
0(0.0%)
animals
0(0.0%)
fancy
0(0.0%)
sweets
0(0.0%)
vehicles
0(0.0%)
plants
0(0.0%)
sea
0(0.0%)
school
0(0.0%)
sporty
0(0.0%)
existential
0(0.0%)
pie
1(50.0%)
cake
0(0.0%)
like what I touched on the bottom of the sink
0(0.0%)

What is this? Oh, it's cousin

Ichigo
0(0.0%)
Foomin
0(0.0%)
Lalala
1(50.0%)
Opio
0(0.0%)
Havana
0(0.0%)
June
0(0.0%)
Miso
0(0.0%)
Dipp
0(0.0%)
Poo
0(0.0%)
Doc
0(0.0%)
Gilbert Gottfried
0(0.0%)
Lokicat
1(50.0%)
0(0.0%)

Is that a Royal Present? Let's see what's inside

0(0.0%)
inner tube
0(0.0%)
giraffe hat
0(0.0%)
cap
0(0.0%)
wig
0(0.0%)
scarf
0(0.0%)
bikini
0(0.0%)
hot dog suit
0(0.0%)
lawnmower
0(0.0%)
Monty Python's Flying Circus
2(100.0%)

The star will be named

Crunchy star
0(0.0%)
Dirty star
0(0.0%)
Diligent star
0(0.0%)
Milky star
0(0.0%)
Prizefighter star
0(0.0%)
Hot star
0(0.0%)
Gummy star
1(50.0%)
Starman star
0(0.0%)
Armageddon star
0(0.0%)
Ringo star
0(0.0%)
kingfox star
1(50.0%)

You already have a star. Do you want to destroy this or keep it?

Stardust
0(0.0%)
Keep it
1(50.0%)
Feed it to assfingers
1(50.0%)

Comet?

I did this fifty times just to earn it, so yeah
0(0.0%)
Nah
0(0.0%)
Depends on if I need to clean up after assfingers
2(100.0%)
About this Poll
Jar
zesty_pinto:
Sep. 3rd, 2010 @ 11:35 am Open Poll:
Poll #1614554 Let's Bring Back the Classics

Would you like to take a survey?

Yes
4(80.0%)
No
1(20.0%)

Do you like beans?

Yes
3(60.0%)
No
2(40.0%)

Do you like George Wendt?

Yes
3(60.0%)
No
2(40.0%)

Would you like to see beans with George Wendt?

Yes
3(60.0%)
No
2(40.0%)

How many beans would you like to see George Wendt with?

Would you like to see George Wendt as Mr. Bean?

Yes
1(20.0%)
No
4(80.0%)

I visited your shrine to George Wendt on the way to the bathroom and noticed you have not updated it for 152 days. Would you like me to update your shrine?

Yes
1(20.0%)
No
2(40.0%)
Bean there, done that
2(40.0%)

And now let us pray

Dear heavenly father up in heaven,
0(0.0%)
Dear devilly antifather down in hockey stick land
0(0.0%)
Dear holy Saint Spongebob, whose Bikini Bottom thermometer hath touched my rumpus
0(0.0%)
Oh agnostic entity who could or could not exist in there
1(25.0%)
Oh heavenly clock, who has been ticking away without anyone looking after it,
0(0.0%)
Oh unholy assfingers, who turns cake into pie with a mere whim
2(50.0%)
Oh non god who does not live in some afterlife existence,
1(25.0%)

Do you like assfingers?

No
0(0.0%)
NO
0(0.0%)
NO!!!
1(20.0%)
Maybe a little
4(80.0%)

Do you like wings?

Yes
1(20.0%)
No
4(80.0%)

How many wings do you think you could stuff into assfingers' mouth before the world explodes?

If there was a movie starring Keanu Reaves as a police officer who must keep feeding 50 wings an hour to assfingers or else he blows up, then

I would go to the first screening
1(25.0%)
I would see it on DVD
1(25.0%)
It would be a chick flick
2(50.0%)
It would be a film pulled from my home movies
0(0.0%)

Would you see assfingers as Mr. Bean?

Yes
1(20.0%)
No
1(20.0%)
I see assfingers with a chicken on his head all the time
2(40.0%)
I see assfingers wearing the Rowan Atkinson skin suit all the time
1(20.0%)
assfingers is a Terminator
0(0.0%)

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/37255

About this Poll
Big in Japan - WTF
zesty_pinto:
Jun. 18th, 2010 @ 11:32 am Some poll about stuff

How sleepy are you today?

Mean: 7.83 Median: 10 Std. Dev 3.18
1
0(0.0%)
2
1(16.7%)
3
0(0.0%)
4
0(0.0%)
5
1(16.7%)
6
0(0.0%)
7
0(0.0%)
8
0(0.0%)
9
0(0.0%)
10
4(66.7%)
About this Poll
stimutac
nathan_lounge:
Jun. 11th, 2010 @ 08:12 am Bar-BE-Que
It's summertime. Y'all ready for some serious BBQ? I know I sure am. Just a tip from me to you: choose the right wood for your application. Pork and beef need a more pungent smoke like hickory, oak, mesquite, cherry, or applewood where as something like fish, seafood, or even chicken benefit from a lighter, more subtle smoke like citrus wood, grape wood, ash, or even cottonwood.

What's your favorite cut of meat?

Pulled pork!
1(16.7%)
Brisket!
0(0.0%)
Ribs!
0(0.0%)
Chicken!
2(33.3%)
Chop!
0(0.0%)

Are you familiar with chop?

Why yes, it's a delightful telelvision show.
0(0.0%)
Why yes, it's a terrible television show in which stupid monkeys perform feces sculpting so unqualified and equally stupid monkeys can judge them.
0(0.0%)
I do believe it is the best invention the bbq gods have bestowed upon us.
2(33.3%)
Not really, please explain.
2(33.3%)
I'm not sure, but insert obligatory reference to assfingers here.
2(33.3%)

Well you see Timmy, when you slather giant hunks of meat in rocksalt and then smoke it all day, the end peices get over-salted and over smoked. So you chop those up and mix them with bbq sauce creating a food item that fits somewhere between a pulled sandwich and a bbq stew. That is how Chop is born.

Ewwwwwwww.....
1(16.7%)
OMG I think I just orgasmed a little.
0(0.0%)
Duh. What do you think I drank this morning after my run?
0(0.0%)
Holy Jesus, I never thought such concentrations of bbq pleasure could be found! It' s like black tar heroine times a thousand!
1(16.7%)
Huh.
2(33.3%)

When people grill or roast meat and then dump a bottle of sauce over it and call it bbq, it makes me feel....

Crying clown Sad
0(0.0%)
Starving Etheopian hungry
2(33.3%)
Police profiling suspicious
1(16.7%)
Cherry Coke fizzy
0(0.0%)
Disturbed fire ant angry
0(0.0%)

Where is the best place to get BBQ in the world?

Lockhart, TX
1(20.0%)
Memphis, TN
1(20.0%)
Kansas City, KS
0(0.0%)
Winston-Salem, NC
1(20.0%)
assfingers's mom's house
2(40.0%)

Please justify your answer and pledge lifetime allegance to your BBQ city-state.

Sauce or no sauce?

Sauce. It's what defines BBQ!
2(33.3%)
No sauce. It's what hacks use to cover up their poor meat and inability to bring the smoke ring!
4(66.7%)

Can't we all just agree that eating as many animals as possible is a banner that we can unit under?

Yes! I would like to be the first to suggest stuffing my Texas-style brisket with NC-style pulled pork and serving it between two slabs of ribs!
1(16.7%)
When the BBQ wars come, you will be the first one sacrificed.
0(0.0%)
Here's the thing, while I support that thought in theory, if it's not the Texan way, it's just not worth doin'.
0(0.0%)
Wait, what was the question again? I just orgasamed a little more thinking about that first response option.
1(16.7%)
That is not a sentiment I can support.
2(33.3%)

How much do you judge the person that answered chicken at the beginning of this poll? 1 being chicken is delicious and 10 being if there's any justice in the world they will be trambled by a heard of super pig-chicken hybrids.

Mean: 4.50 Median: 3 Std. Dev 3.82
1
3(50.0%)
2
0(0.0%)
3
0(0.0%)
4
0(0.0%)
5
1(16.7%)
6
0(0.0%)
7
0(0.0%)
8
0(0.0%)
9
1(16.7%)
10
1(16.7%)

Finally, what is the most apporpiate beverage to consume with your bbq?

Sweet Tea. <- Notice that period.
3(50.0%)
Water, but only so I can cleanse my pallet in between each shovel full of delicious xanadu
0(0.0%)
Soda <- This answer is wrong
1(16.7%)
BBQ sauce. I also brush my teeth in the morning with bbq ribs.
0(0.0%)
Meat drippings. Because I'm more hardcore about this stuff than any other answer possible.
1(16.7%)
About this Poll
spice weasel
nathan_lounge:
May. 20th, 2010 @ 01:32 pm It's Not Happening Right

Okay, so I saw The Happening...

Good for you
1(16.7%)
You poor thing
3(50.0%)
What did you think?
2(33.3%)

When did all the Southern people move into New Jersey?

South Jersey has a redneck relocation program with Texas
0(0.0%)
Maybe it was tourist season
2(33.3%)
Maybe Mark Wahlberg has a natural affinity to look for Southerners in New Jersey
4(66.7%)

Is New York City normally known to have a higher instance of people-killing plants than the acres of wetlands and woodlands in a location known as "THE GARDEN STATE"?

Yes
1(16.7%)
No, but it's a movie
3(50.0%)
"Jersey Shore" kept all those plants at bay.
0(0.0%)
Now that I think about it, why *didn't* they go to the shore?
2(33.3%)

Is there a reason people were so obsessed with math after they were infected?

Plants have PhDs in math
1(16.7%)
Math = Death
1(16.7%)
Shaymalan thought IT WOULD BE A TWIST
3(50.0%)
assfingers' parents were murdered by an asymptote, and he vowed revenge for the criminal acts of formulas
1(16.7%)

And why the Northeastern area of the US, followed by France?

Plants hate hipsters (who doesn't)
6(100.0%)
Plants hate blue states
0(0.0%)

Can you outrun the wind?

Yes, if plants control it
1(16.7%)
No
1(16.7%)
Yes, I am secretly The Flash
2(33.3%)
I can break wind in retaliation!
2(33.3%)

Doesn't the sun control the wind?

Pft, that's just your right-wing mindset telling you THE TRUTH
1(16.7%)
It does, in reality
1(16.7%)
The plants created a wind-controlling device. They are secretly the smartest creatures in THE UNIVERSE
1(16.7%)
Mark Wahlberg keeps running into the wind ever since that tragic day he saw Nicholas Cage run into a beehive sanctuary screaming "NO! NOT THE BEES!!!"
3(50.0%)

Do you think assfingers likes this movie?

Yes, because he is dumb
1(16.7%)
Yes, because I bribed him to with pie
0(0.0%)
No, because he has common sense
1(16.7%)
No, but he did want to see "What's Happening: The Movie"
0(0.0%)
No, but he did like "What's Happening(in My Pants), Volume 5"
4(66.7%)
About this Poll
Aliens
zesty_pinto:
May. 7th, 2010 @ 01:04 pm Open Poll:

assfingers can make Jesus stop making rain

True
0(0.0%)
False
3(50.0%)
Only if he says he's a doctor
2(33.3%)
Only if he doesn't say he's a doctor
1(16.7%)

Jesus can make assfingers eat pain

True
0(0.0%)
False
1(16.7%)
Only if this is French pain (because it's the body of Christ, get it? Heh heh...)
5(83.3%)

The following can be asked of Jesus via assfingers to rain:

Hail
0(0.0%)
Snow
0(0.0%)
manna
0(0.0%)
chicken wings
0(0.0%)
cats and dogs
0(0.0%)
pigs and frogs
0(0.0%)
all the missing left socks in the world
2(33.3%)
ET cartridges
0(0.0%)
assfingers' evil mini clones
0(0.0%)
chocolate
0(0.0%)
Tay Zonday's chocolate
0(0.0%)
really small rocks
0(0.0%)
About this Poll
Meso
zesty_pinto:
Apr. 23rd, 2010 @ 09:27 am Thin Mints!

What do you do through the hole in the sheet?

Celebrate Christmas!
0(0.0%)
Eat pork!
0(0.0%)
1(16.7%)
Your mom.
1(16.7%)
Read Danielle Steel "novels".
0(0.0%)

What do you mean, you don't have a hole in the sheet?

I'm on way to IKEA to get one right now!
0(0.0%)
I'm sorry, but I don't support your religion. Or any religion. Or the girl scouts.
1(14.3%)
Mmmmmm....thin mints....
3(42.9%)
Wait, what were we talking about again?
1(14.3%)
Oh right, I already have my hole in the sheet, it's just at the cleaners.
0(0.0%)
I'll do better next time.
2(28.6%)

You don't even know what I'm talking about, do you?

Yes I do yes I do!
2(28.6%)
No, not really.
1(14.3%)
Is this another one of your stupid Friday Poll things?
2(28.6%)
I bet assfingers knows.
1(14.3%)
Mmmmm....pork!
1(14.3%)

If I put the video at the bottom of this poll, will you educate yourself?

Probably, I'm only really productive like 25 minutes out of any given day.
1(14.3%)
I educated assfingers's mom last night.
3(42.9%)
No, I think it's wrong to view videos on the internet.
0(0.0%)
I can watch that video through the hole in the sheet!
1(14.3%)
No. I only choose the more straight laced of responses.
1(14.3%)

So people like lamb right? And they like it with mint, right? And they like those girlscout cookies with mint, right? So it reasons that a girlscout covered in lamb's blood would be delicious, right!?

Yes....yeah....true, they are delicious...prob..wait, what?
1(14.3%)
Okay, this poll just jumped the shark!
4(57.1%)
And you thought I was going to watch your stupid video.
1(14.3%)
Mmmmmmm....thin mints......
1(14.3%)
That seems reasonable, your logic is flawless!
0(0.0%)


Through the hole...Collapse )
About this Poll
stimutac
nathan_lounge:
Mar. 26th, 2010 @ 09:41 am Do Do Do Do Do Do do, Do Do Do Do DO do do do do....
Welcome to today's Jeopardy style Friday Poll. I'm your host nathan_lounge. As always, here on lj Jeopardy, I'll give you an answer and you give me the question. Lets go to the first category, famous people...

Stalin, Lenin, and Bobo the Clown

The pied piper and a naughty sheriff

The Fleshlight

42 and 16

Buffelo-style chicken wings!

About this Poll
stimutac
nathan_lounge:
Mar. 19th, 2010 @ 09:03 am Fridays are Delicious

Is this hunt doomed?

Yes
2(25.0%)
No
0(0.0%)
1(12.5%)
That's what she said
2(25.0%)

What are we hunting exactly?

Wabbits
2(25.0%)
Seals
1(12.5%)
Bears
1(12.5%)
Way more meat than we'll be able to carry back
1(12.5%)
Take that, The Wilderness!
0(0.0%)

You dip your buffelo wings in...

Blue Cheese Dressing like a true red-blooded American
3(37.5%)
Ranch like a pansy commie
1(12.5%)
assfingers because I'm more hardcore than either
1(12.5%)
I like mine plain please
3(37.5%)

How much do you judge that person in the last question that answered "plain"?

Mean: 6.50 Median: 9.5 Std. Dev 4.27
1
3(37.5%)
2
0(0.0%)
3
0(0.0%)
4
0(0.0%)
5
0(0.0%)
6
0(0.0%)
7
0(0.0%)
8
0(0.0%)
9
1(12.5%)
10
4(50.0%)

So do you think you're going to have trouble eating chicken wings and hunting at the same time?

Nope, one hand for the wing, one hand for the gun, that's what I always say!
0(0.0%)
I hope I don't get blue cheese in the fireing chamber.
1(12.5%)
I've actually constructed a makeshift bow out of chicken tendons and discarded wing bones.
1(12.5%)
I only hunt with the taste of fresh meat on my breath.
1(12.5%)
Pass me the wetnap please.
0(0.0%)

Counting both each kill and each chicken wing consumed, what's your score?

1
0(0.0%)
2
0(0.0%)
5
1(12.5%)
10
0(0.0%)
50
0(0.0%)
pi
1(12.5%)
Mmmm....pi.....
1(12.5%)
100
0(0.0%)
1 hellabijillion
3(37.5%)
2(25.0%)
About this Poll
urkel
nathan_lounge:
Feb. 12th, 2010 @ 09:58 am Meta-Fridaypoll

What question are you asked most often? Lets exclude any vairent of "how are you" or "what's up" or "how's it going" , and "what's your name?"

About this Poll
Jedi Stich
nathan_lounge: