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Feb. 5th, 2010 @ 09:26 am Happy Friday, Let's talk about poop.
Poll #1521686 Poop Poll

After pooping, you __________ to wipe.

stand up
1(10.0%)
stay seated
9(90.0%)


This is a serious question that a friend of mine and I started talking about.

Therefore, it *had* to be made into a Friday poll.
About this Poll
Bones - Glasses
bizarre:
Jan. 29th, 2010 @ 01:20 pm Open Poll:

If I knew you were coming, I would have

LIVE FROM LJ, IT'S FRIDAYPOLL LIIIIVE!!
8(100.0%)

Yes, it's fridaypoll live! Featuring:

John Belushi, Chevy Chase, and Gilda Radner
1(12.5%)
Dan Akroyd, Bill Murray, and Al "I'm Garrison Keillor's pod person" Franken
3(37.5%)
Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, and Mike Myers
1(12.5%)
John Lovitz, Anthony Michael Hall, and Robert Downey Jr.
0(0.0%)
assfingers, kingfox, graye, and (after kingfox's ODs on pie) kingforks
3(37.5%)

Featuring musical guest:

Prince
2(22.2%)
The Artist Formerly Known as Prince
1(11.1%)
Wesley Willis Beating Casper with a Casio
1(11.1%)
My 3-year old nephew banging on a bucket
2(22.2%)
assfingers and the Revolution
3(33.3%)

Now here's your host:

Steve Martin
3(33.3%)
Modern-day Robert Downey Jr.
1(11.1%)
Frank Zappa
1(11.1%)
Anyone else aside from Frank Zappa
0(0.0%)
The shark that assfingers jumped over
4(44.4%)

We interrupt this show to give you a special announcement

Buckwheat has been shot
4(44.4%)
The man who show Buckwheat has been shot
0(0.0%)
The man who is reporting on Buckwheat being shot has been shot
1(11.1%)
I just got a booster shot
2(22.2%)
assfingers blew snot
1(11.1%)
-because Buckwheat would have wanted it that way
1(11.1%)

And be sure to catch Live at the Apollo afterwards

Okay
3(33.3%)
Uh, it's a little too late for me, thanks
1(11.1%)
Oh, look! Bedtime already! How about that
1(11.1%)
Hey man, get this fool outta here
2(22.2%)
Only if assfingers gets on BET
2(22.2%)
About this Poll
Take on me
zesty_pinto:
Jan. 22nd, 2010 @ 09:18 am Open Poll:

Why am I bad at livejournal?

Because you posted your friday poll to your personal journal.
0(0.0%)
Because you don't know how to move it back.
0(0.0%)
Because you're just expecting people to go to your personal journal to fill out your sweet Goth poll.
0(0.0%)
3(37.5%)
About this Poll
Goth
nathan_lounge:
Jan. 15th, 2010 @ 04:18 pm Open Poll:
Poll #1512066 The musical mad lib

Man: You got ___ ?

that loving feeling
2(40.0%)
the right one baby
0(0.0%)
brass in your pocket
0(0.0%)
to put your best foot forward
1(20.0%)
2(40.0%)

Woman: Why yes, I have ____

some sympathy, and some taste
0(0.0%)
no bananas today
3(60.0%)
nothing better to do than watch TV and have a couple of brews
0(0.0%)
all the time in the world
1(20.0%)
1(20.0%)

Man: This is good. Please ____.

to meet you, let me tell you my name
2(40.0%)
pour some sugar on me
1(20.0%)
don't go. Don't gooooooooooooo
2(40.0%)
don't stop the music
0(0.0%)
assfingers with wings
0(0.0%)

Dog: ___!

What can make you move? What can fill you groove?
0(0.0%)
Who? Who? Who? Who?
1(20.0%)
Watch out, here I come. It's been awhile but, we're back in style so
0(0.0%)
Yakkity yak.
3(60.0%)
I will express the sensation of assfingers with a public physical display upon the nearest red receptable on the street.
1(20.0%)
About this Poll
It stinks
zesty_pinto:
Sep. 18th, 2009 @ 12:47 pm Soft in the Head Drink Poll of Powah

Do you feel like a Pepper?

Yes
2(40.0%)
No
3(60.0%)

Do you like/favorably prefer the Sprite in you?

Yes
1(20.0%)
No
4(80.0%)

Dontchya want a Fanta?

Yes
0(0.0%)
No
1(20.0%)
NO GRAPHASPHASKAHASLLKLAS
4(80.0%)

That crazy rabbit won't get our Tri-

Wrong product ad, nitwit
5(100.0%)

Sorry. Can you beat the real thing?

Yes
1(20.0%)
No
1(20.0%)
Depends on how pointy the stick is
3(60.0%)

Steven Seagal has an energy drink. What should be the slogan?

About this Poll
8-Ball
zesty_pinto:
Jun. 5th, 2009 @ 02:15 pm hi
please to note that three of these are customers of mine (all this week!) and one is a baseball player from the 40s.

which?

Richard Hands
1(14.3%)
Lee Cockram
2(28.6%)
Suk-Pin Poon
3(42.9%)
Urban Shocker
1(14.3%)
About this Poll
bill d cat
assfingers:
Jun. 5th, 2009 @ 10:07 am Tattoo
Here are stencils:

069 070


Poll #1411500 Tattoo Location

Arm or Leg?

Arm
4(57.1%)
Leg
3(42.9%)
About this Poll
Zoidberg
bizarre:
May. 29th, 2009 @ 10:08 am Open Poll:
Poll #1407697 jeff golblum hates me

Will you come kill this damn giant fly for me? I'm not tall enough and this chair is too wobbly to stand on.

OK
2(16.7%)
Sure
1(8.3%)
Love to
3(25.0%)
Be right there!
1(8.3%)
what?
5(41.7%)

please list other reasons that jeff golblum sucks

About this Poll
cosby mug, huh?
assfingers:
Nov. 14th, 2008 @ 12:33 pm Open Poll:
Poll #1297313 The Best Cliche Disaster Movie Script EVER

1/2 Look out!

Genetically mutated trees-
1(6.7%)
A meteor-
2(13.3%)
The ocean-
1(6.7%)
A volcano
0(0.0%)
Earthquakes
1(6.7%)
Global warming
0(0.0%)
The ozone layer
0(0.0%)
A nuclear bomb
2(13.3%)
Aliens
2(13.3%)
Genetically melded Final Fantasy/Halo fanboys
3(20.0%)
3(20.0%)

2/2: is/are going to-

crash into the Earth
1(6.7%)
Destroy a major city
1(6.7%)
Envelop the Earth with massive pwnage
2(13.3%)
Devour humans like cattle
2(13.3%)
force people into a suicidal rage
0(0.0%)
will blog about me in snarky lj posts
2(13.3%)
will eat all my wings and pie
4(26.7%)
will hit kingfox in the head
0(0.0%)
pee on my rug
3(20.0%)

The only way to stop this is by getting

A bunch of hicks who have no real qualification for the job
2(13.3%)
Dana Carvey and Paulie Shore (redundant entry)
1(6.7%)
Batman
2(13.3%)
A rugged scientist explorer teamed up with a streetsmart military guy who punches aliens
1(6.7%)
The common cold
0(0.0%)
Antihistamines
0(0.0%)
A rugged archaeologist who spends his time wielding weapons and fighting nazis
0(0.0%)
A take-no-shit ex-Marine who digs chicks, guns, and booze
2(13.3%)
A team of professionals with their offbeat doofus character who has a special talent under all his/her flaws
0(0.0%)
The ladies from Sex in the City
1(6.7%)
Mr. T
0(0.0%)
Chuck Norris
0(0.0%)
Chuck Norris and Mr. T
3(20.0%)
Another movie actually worth seeing
2(13.3%)
1(6.7%)

Who avert disaster by

Blowing it up
2(13.3%)
Creating a macguffin that will stop everything
2(13.3%)
Finding a macguffin that will stop everything
0(0.0%)
Blaming it on Thetans
3(20.0%)
Blaming the government
0(0.0%)
Fighting fire with fire
2(13.3%)
Summoning Jesus Christ
1(6.7%)
Hiring yet another person who has a macguffin that lets them find the source for this disaster and stopping it
2(13.3%)
Inventing the ultimate pie recipe
1(6.7%)
They don't.
2(13.3%)

Of course, this movie will be produced by Spielberg, so you know that

everyone lives in the end.
14(93.3%)

How much money would this movie idea save you from seeing another one of these movies?

Mean: 14.54 Median: 17 Std. Dev 5.67
0(0.0%)
5
1(7.7%)
6
0(0.0%)
7
1(7.7%)
8
0(0.0%)
9
1(7.7%)
10
2(15.4%)
11
1(7.7%)
12
0(0.0%)
13
0(0.0%)
14
0(0.0%)
15
0(0.0%)
16
0(0.0%)
17
1(7.7%)
18
0(0.0%)
19
0(0.0%)
20
6(46.2%)
About this Poll
Jar
zesty_pinto:
Oct. 31st, 2008 @ 11:31 am Open Poll:
Poll #1288700 Identify!

Fish
5(55.6%)
Sea kitten
4(44.4%)
Kitten
0(0.0%)

Fish
0(0.0%)
Sea kitten
0(0.0%)
Kitten
9(100.0%)

Fish
9(100.0%)
Sea kitten
0(0.0%)
Kitten
0(0.0%)

Fish
0(0.0%)
Sea kitten
1(11.1%)
Kitten
4(44.4%)
ATTEMPTED CANNIBALISM
4(44.4%)

www.peta.org/Sea_Kittens/index.asp

Dumb
0(0.0%)
DUMB
4(44.4%)
What?
4(44.4%)
1(11.1%)

Fish
0(0.0%)
Sea kitty
0(0.0%)
Kitty
7(77.8%)
2(22.2%)
About this Poll
Clown & Baby
zesty_pinto: